Isn’t it true that as parents we often find ourselves struggling to navigate our children through some of the very same challenges we face? One of those for us has been constraining worldliness in our own lives while we warn and protect our children from the same risk. 
 
Some might restate that struggle in a more familiar expression: how can we be in the world while not being of the world? 
 
So what does that familiar evangelical expression really mean? That terminology is actually drawn from the words of Jesus as he prayed for us to our heavenly father: 
 
John 17:14 I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. 15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, just as I am not… 
 
In this prayer, Jesus actually reveals that Christians, those born again, those who are in Christ, are already not 'of' the world because of regeneration. Being born again transfers us out of the kingdom of this world (Satan's dominion) and into the kingdom of God (Jesus' dominion). Beginning at salvation, genuine Christians are no longer of the world even though they remain in it.  
 
Some have mistakenly understood Jesus to be indicating isolation for his people, for them to withdraw from the world into perhaps enclaves of believers huddling in a foreign land while they await their final redemption. Not so. 
 
In reality, like he did his disciples, Jesus actually sends us into the world he saved us out of in order to be gospel salt and light for them as we put on display God's glory through our new life in Christ. We are to be ambassadors of Christ carrying the gospel to the lost and dying unbelievers who fill the earth. 
 
So then if we are already not of the world because of Christ, then what is this struggle against worldliness we have?  
 
It's a conflict over our affections, identity, and destination — what we love, who we are, why we're here and where we’re going. It's about our tendency to forget what Christ has done for us and why. As Peter tells us in the first chapter of his second epistle, when we forget the great and precious promises granted us in Christ (2 Peter 1:3-4) that frees us from the corruption of this world then we become blinded (2 Peter 1:9). We become forgetful of having been cleansed from our former sins and then we begin again living as we did without Christ. 
 
How can we tell when we are becoming forgetful?  
 
Check our affections 

Check our identity 

Clarify our destination 

That's our struggle with worldliness — and, for our believing children we are showing them the way, and for our unbelieving children we are showing them the difference. 
 
It's a challenging juxtaposition to consider raising children in a fallen world while trying to protect them from not only becoming like the world but also from liking the world.   
 
So what do we do? Do we separate ourselves and live in isolation, away from all worldly influences?  Or do we plunge our kids into the world like mini-evangelists and then cast ourselves on God trusting in His sovereignty as we vacate control?  
 
Well, no and no. 
 
We've already addressed the error of isolationism. As Jesus prayed, since we are simultaneously not of the world and yet sent into the world, Christian isolationism cannot be the answer.  
 
Now as for seeing your children as mini-evangelists, sending them into the world to be baby salt and light so to speak, we think that unwise, and unbiblical. We have unfortunately seen the results of parents who send their children unprepared into a hostile world as conscripted missionaries. In many of those instances their youngest of children were not yet themselves converted while being expected to be salt and light to other lost children at school and other mixed venues — sending the lost to save, the blind to lead. And even for the saved children who are still developmentally immature to be expected to withstand the enemy's ideological assaults from other children much less unbelieving adults seems imprudent and irresponsible on the part of a faithful shepherding parent. 
 
So do children have any part in evangelism? Of course. However we see that done under the careful auspices of the parents in the context of family. One of our fundamental teachings is that a marriage, family, and home that's well in order according to the scriptural pattern is an extraordinarily powerful gospel witness in the world. It is a bright light and savory salt of gospel hope that causes a hopeless world to look, wonder, and ask us for the reason for our hope (1 Peter 3:15). 
 
As parents it is our responsibility to evangelize our own lost children, then once, by God's sovereign grace, they do become believers we disciple them into one day becoming evangelists and disciple makers themselves. And even for children who, sadly, may choose to reject the cross of Christ, restraining the world from their life, teaching them to shun evil, rescuing them from the scourge of corrupting sins is merciful. That is part of the responsibility of parental authority, as with all authority given by heaven, to restrain evil (1 Peter 2:14). Parental authority is meant (along with many other things) to suppress sin. (Deuteronomy 21:20-21) 
 
What does all this look like? Preparing your believing children to live as shining lights in the "midst of a crooked and perverse generation" (Phil 2:15) is a process. Protecting your unbelieving children from being unnecessarily, early, or overly exposed to the depth of depravity that eagerly awaits them and beckons them like a siren's call is our watchman's vigil. 
 
Our children will become exposed to the evil in the world, it is inevitable. But though inevitable we want to manage it, we want to be involved and aware to help them process what they see, to understand it from a biblical perspective. This may seem strange, but as parents we want to manage and curate their inescapable exposure to the world.  
 
Fine, so how does a parent manage and curate a child's exposure and involvement in the world? And lastly, but possibly most importantly, it must be done in consideration of the individual bents (strengths, limitations, and sinful tendencies) of each child.  In others words, there is no "one size fits all" process and there is no formula to be offered here.  In fact, proper guidance will most likely look quite different from child to child.  It's a custom fit.  
 
There are certainly many angles to be considered concerning worldly exposures and influences but in this article let's look at just one, peer influences. 
 
Psalm 106 recounts the sins of Israel against God during their exodus from Egypt and travels to the Promised Land.  Verse 35 leaps from the page when read in the context of peer influences. 
 

 First, for our application of this passage to modern day parenting, think of ancient Israel as we are now in Christ, God's people. And think of the Gentiles as symbolic of everyone else who are not God's people today. This is the world, its systems, philosophies, passions – I think you get it. 
 
Next let's break this down by first defining some terms.
Consider the order of the wording of this verse.  First, the Israelites mingled with the Gentiles then they learned their ways.  They voluntarily blended and mixed with the Gentiles and then naturally gained knowledge and emulated their practices.   
 
It's very interesting to note that the Gentiles did not learn the Israelites' ways but the Israelites learned the Gentiles'. (Keep this in mind the next time you hear of parents sending their tender young out into the world to 'influence' — sadly, the more likely result is they will be influenced.) 
 
What exactly did God's chosen people learn and thus begin practicing from these pagans?Can you imagine?  These were the same people who witnessed miracle after miracle during their deliverance and journey out of Egypt. They saw the hand of God move mightily on their behalf. They were given the Ten Commandments and the law to clearly guide their daily lives. Yet, through the insidious process of mingling and learning, God's people began to look and act no differently than the world. 
 
Now consider other scriptures that speak to the impact of worldly peer influences: So, as parents, what can we do to protect our children from being influenced like the Israelites: 
 

1. Physician, heal thyself

2. Pray

3. Saturate their hearts with God's Word

4. Be watchful

5. Know their friends and help them choose friendships wisely

6. Confidently remove them from negative influences

7. Cultivate warm, lasting friendships within your family

 
Finally, to avoid mingling and learning the ways of the world, let's remember.... 
 
Remember, all worldliness in God's people (ancient or modern) is rooted in a conflict over our affections, identity, and destination — what we love, who we are, why we're here and where we’re going. It stems from our tendency to forget what God has done for us and why.

Tags: worldliness, advice, godliness, identity, influence