What does our culture tend to think of parenting? Sadly, most see it as a costly, difficult, seemingly never-ending thankless job.

What about you, Christian parent? How do you feel about your parenting efforts? When you think of your parenting efforts, how often do you see it as a holy act of worship, a self-sacrificing service highly valued in the sight of God?

In many homes, parenting is often an exercise of sheer survival; putting one foot in front of the other and hoping to simply get through another day. (Yes, our home felt like that at times!) However, for those pursuing godly parenting we believe the Lord wants us to shift our perspective and see it as He does.

In today’s blog, that’s what we hope to help you accomplish.

We are going to take a very beautiful and familiar bible story and use it to make some deeper application that we hope will encourage your pursuit of godly parenting.

Mary Anoints Jesus
The Setting
This story takes place just six days before Jesus’ crucifixion. This would be Jesus’ last Sabbath celebration before His violent death.

It is noteworthy to consider where Jesus chose to spend his last Sabbath. He could have spent it teaching in the synagogue or preaching to the masses. He could have spent it healing the sick or even in the wilderness alone in prayer. But Jesus spends it in the comfort and warmth of a home where he would enjoy a lovingly prepared meal, gracious hospitality, and the rich fellowship of his most intimate friends.

The People
Simon the leper opens his home for this memorable occasion. All commentaries conclude that Jesus must have healed Simon before dining in his home as lepers were considered unclean and Simon would have been isolated.

There was Lazarus who Jesus had recently raised from the dead, and his sisters, Mary and Martha, all of whom were faithful followers and beloved friends of Jesus.

His disciples were also there. These were the men in Jesus’ innermost circle. Can you imagine the rich conversations taking place around this table of beloved friends?

What unfolds
Martha, and most likely Mary, were busily preparing and serving the meal. While this isn’t directly stated, there is certainly the sense that they were serving joyfully and facilitating this beautiful meal for their Savior and his friends.

And then out of nowhere Mary enters carrying a beautiful alabaster flask of extraordinarily expensive oil. Scripture states that it was worth 300 denarii which was about one year’s wages - translated in our day to tens of thousands of dollars! This was most likely a prized and precious family heirloom.

Mary walks in quietly and humbly, yet with great intention. She isn’t uncertain. She’s not biting her fingernails wondering if she’s doing the right thing. There is also no pomp and circumstance. No big announcement of what is about to take place. She isn’t taking selfies to post on social media. Even though there are many gathered in this room what Mary is about to do she does for an audience of ONE.

Mary breaks open the beautiful flask (destroyed, never to be used again) and lavishly anoints Jesus head and feet with this most fragrant and costly oil. And then Mary does something truly stunning, something that culture would have probably deemed as scandalous. Mary takes down her long hair, gets on her knees and uses it to wipe the feet of Jesus.

In the breaking of the flask and pouring the oil, Mary sacrificed treasured earthly possessions.

In the taking down of her hair and wiping Jesus feet, she sacrificed her reputation.

This is a profound picture of worship: humble sacrifice driven by deep affection and God-centered love - much like the heart of godly parenting.

The Guests’ Reactions
Let’s take a moment to consider how the guests respond to Mary’s actions.

Their initial response was indignation: “Why this waste? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.”

From their perspective, Mary’s anointing of Jesus was a total waste of resources. Scripture says that they publicly scolded her!

Interestingly, there is no record that Mary responded to their criticism. Apparently she didn’t recoil, get her feelings hurt, or start crying. She didn’t defend herself or get angry.

Mary was on a mission doing what the Holy Spirit had called her to do and doing it for an audience of One. She was totally unfazed by what people were saying around her.

Jesus’ Reactions
In contrast, consider how Jesus’ responds to Mary’s actions. First, he tells those naysayers to “Leave her alone!” Then Jesus shares 3 profound truths about His conclusions of Mary actions.

He tells the guests:

It’s noteworthy to consider that Jesus praised Mary to the guests but didn’t praise Mary directly. Why? I believe it’s because she didn’t need it. Mary’s heart was completely absorbed in this act of worship and she carried it out with a quiet, godly confidence. She felt the good pleasure from the Lord, and therefore didn’t need to hear anyone’s praise or affirmation.

Application
Let’s take a moment and make some personal application about these three profound statements Jesus makes regarding Mary.

“She has done a beautiful thing for me”
If you or I were in that room and witnessed Mary’s actions would we see it as a beautiful thing for Christ or would we see it as the guests did - wasteful? I’ve pondered that often. We need to ask the Lord to give us His heart regarding what’s truly valuable and beautiful.

What about faithful, godly parenting? Do you see it as beautiful? Do you see it as having eternal value? Or have there been elements of the world and our current culture that have influenced your perspective?

Are there moments where parenting seems like a bit of a waste to you?
Do you ever wonder if you could be doing something far more significant with your life right now?

“She has done what she could”
Mary poured out upon Jesus her most prized earthly possession. She didn’t hold back. She didn’t question her decision. She wasn’t uncertain. She did ALL she could do.

In your role as a spouse and parent are you holding back? It’s easy to do. How about how you spend your time, your resources, your energies, your affections? Do you feel like you're doing what you can with a clear conscious for your family. Do you see them as your primary ministry right now?

Let me be clear about “doing all you can do”. Doing all you can do is not about lavishing earthly goods and life experiences on your family. While those can be helpful (in moderation) they are not the most important. Right now the most important “doing” for your children is the nurture, discipleship, and training of their hearts.

Could Jesus say of you as a parent, “You have done what you could”?

Jesus ends this amazing scene with these words which I am sure silenced those negative guests:
“And truly, I say to you, wherever the gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.”

While the guests saw Mary’s actions as a total waste, Jesus rebukes them and shares that from His vantage point, the perfect and eternal vantage point, what she did was so valuable, so precious in His sight, so God-exalting that she would be remembered for it forever.

Think about it. While this scene took place over 2,000 years ago (and on the other side of the globe) we are still talking about it! Mary’s story lives on just as Jesus proclaimed it would.

How often do you consider how you and your works will be remembered? Will they endure?

With each passing year I think about that more and more. Prov. 90:12 actually instructs me to do just that: ”So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

Below are three simple questions you need to be asking yourself:Several years ago (within a short span) the Lord took home two precious women who were very dear to my heart. Their deaths were unexpected and left a void that I cannot even begin to describe. One left behind a loving husband and 11 precious children, the youngest being 6. Another left behind a loving husband and 5 precious children the youngest only weeks old. These women did not know their end was imminent, yet when I consider the course of their lives and the testimonies shared at their funerals it’s as if they knew their race would end soon. They lived their lives intentionally, faithfully, and for the glory of God. They poured themselves out through their godly, tireless service to their families. They loved their husbands deeply and trained their children faithfully. They were women marked by integrity, humility, and a God-centered mindset. The fruit of their labors was evident to ALL who knew them. And they will be remembered for this - perhaps for future generations to come.
While these women loved their families fiercely, their service to them was done for a much higher cause. It was done as a form of loving worship to a faithful and worthy God. It was done for an audience of One.

One of our main teaching points at Family Reform is that effective parenting is empowered when it is done as an act of worship, done in spirit and truth.

So…I’d like to encourage you to have a heart like Mary did and do these countless acts as an act of worship for an audience of ONE.

In the days ahead consider spending some time searching your heart and seeking the Lord to: May you make your mission of parenting one that will leave a legacy of God-glorifying remembrance - impacting future generations just as Mary did.

You may enjoy our podcast on this same topic related specifically to mothering: Godly Motherhood: An Act of Worship.

Tags: mentoring, advice, guidance, purpose, goals, discipleship, seasons of parenting, godliness, vision, intentionality