What are the Fundamentals Needs for Parents Today? Part 5: Guidance and Support
October 07, 2016 12:07 AM
Filed in: Parent Heart Issues
Filed in: Parent Heart Issues
2 Peter 1:2-4 tells us that by His divine power, God has given his people all things necessary for life and godliness. What a tremendously comforting thought!
And what are those ‘things’? When taken in perhaps the broadest form, the term “means of grace” may best encompasses them. A quick survey of the typical list shows that many of the means are to be delivered through the ministry of a local church.
Successful parenting requires God’s divine power and is therefore inextricably tied to God’s ordinary means of grace. And the church is an essential conduit for delivering grace into our lives. But not just any local gathering that calls itself a ‘church’ will serve the purpose. A grace delivering church must be biblically sound.
Just to be crystal clear, the primary source for practical, contemporary instruction and observable guidance for successful daily Christian living is a biblical church. Is that surprising? If it is, you may never have experienced the blessings of belonging to a vibrant local expression of the body of Christ that is sound, healthy, and biblical. Unfortunately, those kind of churches are not as common as one might hope.
If there is a bright side to culture’s continuous slide into ever increasing darkness it may be that the church is strengthened as God’s people turn more intently to Him for light and strength in the face of growing darkness. And a companion benefit to that truth is that church attenders who may be Christian in name only begin to exit the church as it grows less culturally expedient to be identified as ‘Christian’. Cultural Christianity wanes as the cost of following Christ becomes more clear which in turn narrows the gray area. The light and darkness become more distinguished. Though uncomfortable at times, that is a good thing for God’s people.
When a church is vibrant, functional, and healthy then biblical wisdom and guidance gets transferred through preaching, teaching, and the ‘one-another’ instructions of scripture. This is especially true in the arenas of marriage and family living where the older, more experienced church members mentor and teach the younger and demonstrate by example what is being preached and taught from the bible. But for this to work it requires at least these 2 things:
1. Young, willing learners that are observant, curious, and teachable
2. Older, willing teachers that are experienced, biblically wise, willing and available to share
Today it seems we are sadly running a serious deficit on both counts. Take heart, God always provides and supplies the needs of his people. He is glad to reward seekers, and their reward is finding.
Here are some things to seek, and we trust God will make you a finder:
1. To be a humble learner, ever teachable and pliable to the word of God
To learn you must be a student. You must see a need. You must feel a gap in understanding and knowledge. You must hunger and seek after insight and truth.
We have seen that being teachable is mysteriously connected to fearing God (Proverbs 1:7). So we encourage you in your god-fearing. That is a positive thing, though the word “fear” tends to fall harshly on post-modern ears. We understand, nonetheless it is biblical. It is central to growing in wisdom. Seek it.
We have seen that being teachable is mysteriously connected to fearing God (Proverbs 1:7). So we encourage you in your god-fearing. That is a positive thing, though the word “fear” tends to fall harshly on post-modern ears. We understand, nonetheless it is biblical. It is central to growing in wisdom. Seek it.
2. Membership in a healthy, biblical church
We recommend you first understand what constitutes a healthy, biblical, sound church. May we suggest reading “9 Marks of a Healthy Church”, by Mark Dever. Churches espousing the concepts in that book will often list themselves in this directory. That may prove useful in your search for a sound church for your family to join and serve.
3. Biblical wisdom
The apostle James encourages us to ask for, and seek, godly wisdom. (James 1:5)
The good news is God offers it generously and without criticism! To that end, daily read the book of Proverbs. Conveniently, that book contains 31 chapters, making a chapter per day an easy pattern to follow. Simply read the chapter coinciding with the day of the month. So, for example, on the 21st of the month, read chapter 21 - easy.
Before reading the chapter, pause and pray, asking God to grant you wisdom and insight specifically for the work of marriage, parenting, and church life. And don’t just skim it, read it, ponder it, and throughout the day endeavor to meditate on any truths that may have especially resonated with you.
The good news is God offers it generously and without criticism! To that end, daily read the book of Proverbs. Conveniently, that book contains 31 chapters, making a chapter per day an easy pattern to follow. Simply read the chapter coinciding with the day of the month. So, for example, on the 21st of the month, read chapter 21 - easy.
Before reading the chapter, pause and pray, asking God to grant you wisdom and insight specifically for the work of marriage, parenting, and church life. And don’t just skim it, read it, ponder it, and throughout the day endeavor to meditate on any truths that may have especially resonated with you.
4. Mentor
Find an older, wise and seasoned saint you can look to as a living pattern. Think about the biblical qualifications of church leaders (elders and deacons), you want those ideas to be generally true of your selection of a male mentor. For female mentors, look to Titus 2 for instructions regarding older women who can teach. See how they are described, what marks their lives. And, especially look to Proverbs 31, for the towering example of a godly older woman.
Whether male or female, we’re talking about quality of character demonstrated by a life well lived. If you find someone you think would be a great mentor, be prepared they may not be familiar with this role, or feel worthy or comfortable in it. That’s ok, gently encourage them to step up to it in an act of service to Christ and to you (and secondarily your family). Ask them to try it for a while. Consider initially meeting once every other week for 3 months, and then you both can reevaluate to see if you want to continue.
Whether male or female, we’re talking about quality of character demonstrated by a life well lived. If you find someone you think would be a great mentor, be prepared they may not be familiar with this role, or feel worthy or comfortable in it. That’s ok, gently encourage them to step up to it in an act of service to Christ and to you (and secondarily your family). Ask them to try it for a while. Consider initially meeting once every other week for 3 months, and then you both can reevaluate to see if you want to continue.
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