How often do you stop and consider your identity?

With whom or what do you identity yourself?

Here's an even better question: How would you complete the following statement?
I am a ________ (fill in the blank)

Your answer to this simple question may very well reveal your priorities, affections, and the way in which you live your life.

As a busy parent, the top of your "identity list" may very well be "dad" or "mom". If someone had asked us that question about 20 years ago, "parent" would have easily been the first thing that rolled off our tongue. At first blush, that answer actually sounds like a pretty noble way to identify oneself, but is it really a biblical one?

Interestingly, as believers, scripture doesn't state our primary identity as being parents at all. Rather, our primary identity is as children of God in Christ.

Below are 9 scriptures (not an exhaustive list by any means) which clearly speak to this:

1. "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name." John 1:12

2. "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." 1 John 3:1-2

3. "Having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will," Ephesians 1:5

4. "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.'" Romans 8:14-15

5. "But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter And all we are the work of Your hand." Isaiah 64:8

6. "Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture." Psalm 100:3

7. "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26

8. "and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together." Romans 8:17

9. "that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world," Philippians 2:16

Believe it or not, aligning and embracing your identity biblically will make a profound impact on the way in which you fulfill your role as husband or wife and how you parent your children.

If you see yourself first, and foremost, as a child of God then you will naturally align your thoughts, actions, priorities, words, and your motivations with that of your Father which will then spill over daily into your parenting. In other words, your children will become the blessed beneficiaries of your identify-overflow.

Let's take a brief look at the 2 identities and consider how they impact your role as a parent:

If I view my primary identity as a parent….

• I will see my children as MY children
• I will tend to put the needs of my children before my spouse
• I will easily become over-protective and fearful
• My personal joy will be determined by the success and well being of my children and I will tend to keep a tighter grip on every detail of their lives
• I will naturally limit my circles of friendships with parents just like me
• When my children leave the nest or if the Lord chooses to take one home, my identity will be shattered.

If I view my primary identity as a child of God…

• I will see my children as God’s property over which I am his steward required to be found faithful as a parent
• I will primarily see my family members as being either brothers or sisters in Christ, or as the lost in need of Christ and of evangelizing
• I will tend to see my marriage more biblically and therefore put the needs of my spouse before my children.
• I will have greater peace when my child becomes injured or ill, knowing I can fully put my trust in my faithful Father.
• I will naturally be more motivated to help develop my child in the way my Father created him rather than in my own image
• My circle of friends will be much broader and diverse since I will desire to surround myself with many types of people – especially all who are in the body of Christ. This will help cultivate and develop my children.
• When my children leave the nest or if the Lord chooses to take one home, while it may be heart wrenching, my identify will stay firmly intact and not shattered.

Remember, your identity as a parent is fleeting. Your identity as a child of God is unchanging and eternal. Your role as husband, wife, father, or mother is temporal (passing away), but all our relationships in Christ are superior because they are eternal.

May you parent your children daily with those truths in mind.

Tags: fear, identity, inadequacy, marriage, beliefs, guidance, influence, parent-child relationship, significance, peace, priorities, vision, worry