Sow to Their Flesh, but Reap the Spirit?
Over the years we've interacted with many Christian parents. They have been at all levels of spiritual maturity — some very young in their faith to the seasoned and deeply mature.
One thing, however, is pretty universal — and that is what they desire for their children.
So, Christian parent, let me ask you...
What is your deepest hope for your children?
In your heart of hearts, what do hope for them?
I trust most of you will respond with something like: “Well, to be Christians…. and not Christian merely in name only, but with genuine salvation. A salvation that produces Christ-like character — that produces fruit. We want our kids to be Christians – clearly and obviously Christian. We want them to be a witness for Christ.”
That’s the obvious Sunday School class answer…of course, we all want that!
But, honestly, do we really want that? Is that goal truly what we have in mind as we raise our children?
Goal? Wait, what was the goal, again?
Oh yeah, 'to be Christians', and not just in name only.
It seems that any meaningful journey always begins with a destination in mind. So for the parenting journey – what is the destination? It’s that our children are genuine, fruit bearing Christians. Perfect!
But what does that kind of Christlikeness actually look like?
In CS Lewis’s, Mere Christianity, we find a simple yet profound definition:
“Now the whole offer which Christianity makes is this: that we can, if we let God have His way, come to share in the life of Christ. If we do, we shall then be sharing a life which was begotten, not made, which always existed and always will exist. Christ is the Son of God. If we share in this kind of life we also shall be sons of God. We shall love the Father as He does and the Holy Ghost will arise in us. He came to this world and became a man in order to spread to other men the kind of life He has — by what I call "good infection." Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else.”
Simply put, Christlikeness is: becoming a little Christ.
Some might chuckle at that and mutter, “Yeah, they’re little – little devils!”
Seriously...
If we set the destination of our parenting journey on making little Christs what will things look like when we arrive? By God's grace — how will we know we've succeeded?
Well, let's take a moment and consider Jesus’ life and his ministry on this earth…
What did he do?
Whose interests did he serve?
Was he celebrated?
Did he receive immediate fulfillment and achievement?
How did he spend his life — on himself or on others?
Whom did he love — only the wealthy, the powerful, the pretty, the popular, the perfect?
Was he rescued from insult and injury he did not deserve?
Was not obedience the very essence of his every motivation and action?
So then, how is our desire for Christlikeness practically connected to our children?
All our thinking and actions that are culturally based will be disconnected from that goal.
Why would we possibly expect that raising our children in worldliness and child centeredness could ever produce gentle, loving, self-denying servant adults reflecting Jesus?
Consider our culture of childrearing: We celebrate children for mediocrity and nothingness…exempt children from all service…isolate children to ‘just-like-me’ groups to learn disdain for the different…encourage self-indulgences in entertainment and amusement… watch over and pamper them undeservedly… hover like a helicopter to protect and insulate them from any discomfort.
How can that possibly be expected to guide a child into the kingdom of heaven?
How will that cause them to grow into a Christ-like adult?
How does that teach a child to deny himself and take up his cross and follow Jesus?
Are we sowing to our children's flesh while at the same time expecting a spiritual harvest?
In fact, at best, that sets up our children for dismay and bewilderment. At worst, it potentially stumbles them to fully reject our faith because in their childhood we showed them an unrealistic life. We showed them an experience completely counter to what scripture promises for the Christian which is: opposition, hardships, sorrows, and suffering.
By design and intention all those challenges serve to lead us to holiness and a greater dependency on the sufficiency of our Savior. And all for our joy and for the blessing of others.
How can we expect our pampered pumpkins to walk that road?
How will they experience growth if we deprive them of those means of growth?
It seems we are verbally pointing them to Christ while actively crafting them to the flesh.
It takes great effort to guide them to the pattern that Jesus left us. It requires biblical words coupled with sincere, matching actions in the forms of training and example.
Our own living testimony will either amplify or dampen our efforts. Calling a child to “deny yourself and take up your cross and follow Jesus” sounds hollow from a parent not plausibly striving to do the same.
If we are not showing them what that means by demonstration, we indict ourselves — and with that we are, in fact, saying don’t be like me.
Actually, the real power comes when we include our children in our own real journey following Christ to become holy.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6
Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God…
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